skinny on skin

my boss told me today that her dentist/cousin told her in confidence that her dermo/high school pal revealed the greatest secret known to dermatology today. ready? ye who uses cvs brand lotion shall receive the same benefits as any expensive creme. needless to say, i'm not sure who to believe. i'm not sure if my boss is lying to me, keeping this tremendous secret hostage, passively yet effectively cursing my youth, or if the fable in fact begins with an embittered dermo trying to get back at her slutty dentist friend for macking on her hs boyfriend even after all these years. either way, i think this confession is totally bogus, as clearly depicted by my skincare regime:

dr. hauschka eye cream; creme de la mer; lavera sunscreen; earth science cleanser; thayers lavender witch hazel toner; dr. hauschka day cream; fresh sugar face polish

i swear by all of these.